I dont know nearly enough about my ethnic history as I should... in fact, i'm thinking now i should seek out some sort of korean history course and gain more awareness of the issues my grandmother and mother grew up around...
I got a little taste the other day talking to my mom about what kind of stories my grandmother and grandfather would tell her. Apparently, my grandfather didn't share much of anything, which is common for those who served in the military in time of war.
My mom shared with me that my grandmother was in her 20s when north korea invaded and she had to flee Seoul because they lived about 1 hour from the border... she had to go without my grandfather, as he was sent off to war. He was in the airforce and i guess pretty high in the ranks (which put her at greater danger), but it seems my mom doesn't know exactly what his role was... My grandmother on the otherhand apparently loves to tell the story of how she had to go on foot, traveling for months... with only the belongings she had to carry, including my mom in her belly. With her she had taken a genealogy book that had everything dating back to a korean general in our lineage... alas, over the months of travel, it was lost. What my mom does remember is that we came from a line of Lees... And I guess Lees also were split into families.. and we came from Hamim or something..
My mom also told me about what it was like for my grandmother growing up during the japan invasion... being only allowed to speak japanese... and stories they would hear about how the japanese would kill and bring back body/face parts in boxes back to their country as trophies... i've heard alot of other horrific things about the japanese invasion including sex slaves, concentration camps and such... and the country's denial of having done these things.
I'm going to look into some classes...
Monday, May 10, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Blast from the past...
I seem to be reminded every once in a while, whenever i see the name Dixon, of a strange incident that happened while I was in college...
basically, someone had emailed my boyfriend at the time, several emails telling him that they are aware of his relationship with the "mongoloid" and to break off the relationship immediately or we would be sorry. the reason this was most alarming was because I'm generally not a PDA (public display of affection) type of girl.. and we weren't that sort of couple.. so in public, you would likely not have known that we were more than friends. So, we could only deduce that the person who wrote these emails knew him and I well enough to know that we were together... in the emails this person spouted off something about white supremecy and had some website (that i can't seem to remember right now.. something like White Thunder or Storm... stormfront?)... and continued to make threats if my bf and i didn't break up. OH, and the guy identified himself as Willie Dixon. we actually got the FBI involved, and all they could determine was that the emails were sent from the UCSD campus... fortunately, we weren't too affected by it, didn't break up from that incident.. and didn't experience any actions of his threats...
it was weird tho... and i'm reminded whenever i see the last name Dixon...
basically, someone had emailed my boyfriend at the time, several emails telling him that they are aware of his relationship with the "mongoloid" and to break off the relationship immediately or we would be sorry. the reason this was most alarming was because I'm generally not a PDA (public display of affection) type of girl.. and we weren't that sort of couple.. so in public, you would likely not have known that we were more than friends. So, we could only deduce that the person who wrote these emails knew him and I well enough to know that we were together... in the emails this person spouted off something about white supremecy and had some website (that i can't seem to remember right now.. something like White Thunder or Storm... stormfront?)... and continued to make threats if my bf and i didn't break up. OH, and the guy identified himself as Willie Dixon. we actually got the FBI involved, and all they could determine was that the emails were sent from the UCSD campus... fortunately, we weren't too affected by it, didn't break up from that incident.. and didn't experience any actions of his threats...
it was weird tho... and i'm reminded whenever i see the last name Dixon...
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
BOO!!! on Costco and CP
About a month ago, I had emailed Costco and a company called CP because of a concern regarding one of the products they carry. They haven't replied back, so I'm blogging a big
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
on them.
There is a soup they carry that is so yummy, but beware, the ingredients they use are on the GreenPeace seafood RED list and are not sustainable and therefore you should NOT buy this product.
I have also emailed Greenpeace to encourage them to focus their efforts/influence on to Costco... Their influence pushed Trader Joe's to carry sustainable seafood, so I thought I'd shoot them an email about the product.
I will be making more trips to Trader Joes and encourage you to do the same...seeing that Costco does not carry the same ethics/values as I do. Be wary of seafood products at Costco, because I'm guessing they dont care too much about how what products they are carrying impacts the earth.
So, the product, in particular, is Shrimp Wonton Soup with Noodles by CP (http://www.cpthaithai.com/home/products_cp_08.html)
The shrimp that is listed in the ingredients (Litopenaeus vannamei), is also known as "whiteleg shrimp." It is on the red list and is not sustainable. The methods to capture this species involves trawling which accidentally catches and kills more than 1.8 million tons of marine life each year, including turtles, sharks and other animals and account for more than 25% of the world's wasted catch. In addition, the heavy weight of the trawl nets cause habitat distruction.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
on them.
There is a soup they carry that is so yummy, but beware, the ingredients they use are on the GreenPeace seafood RED list and are not sustainable and therefore you should NOT buy this product.
I have also emailed Greenpeace to encourage them to focus their efforts/influence on to Costco... Their influence pushed Trader Joe's to carry sustainable seafood, so I thought I'd shoot them an email about the product.
I will be making more trips to Trader Joes and encourage you to do the same...seeing that Costco does not carry the same ethics/values as I do. Be wary of seafood products at Costco, because I'm guessing they dont care too much about how what products they are carrying impacts the earth.
So, the product, in particular, is Shrimp Wonton Soup with Noodles by CP (http://www.cpthaithai.com/home/products_cp_08.html)
The shrimp that is listed in the ingredients (Litopenaeus vannamei), is also known as "whiteleg shrimp." It is on the red list and is not sustainable. The methods to capture this species involves trawling which accidentally catches and kills more than 1.8 million tons of marine life each year, including turtles, sharks and other animals and account for more than 25% of the world's wasted catch. In addition, the heavy weight of the trawl nets cause habitat distruction.
Friday, April 09, 2010
Interesting revelations on Domestic Partnership vs. Marriage
First, some ramblings:
So.. Until recently, I never realized the religious conotations to marriage. I guess I had not really thought about it before and had always seen it as something that had more to do with legally and publicly (among friends/family) binding a relationship. I figured, the only reason that many people got married in churches was because their religion was important to them and they wanted their marriage to be connected to a religious ceremony; never put two and two together that the marriage itself was actually a religious ceremony... (not sure why i didn't see it before)
I had always intended to get married, but not for any religious reasons, it was more for legality and making sure all rights as a married couple and as parents were available; and of course a celebration of love to share with family/friends.
This has increased my confusion as to how we are still allowing religious values to dictate our laws in the United States?? Because it's only a religious reason why gay marriage is not recognized, right?
Anyway, having decided I was going to wait until same-sex marriage is legal to get married myself... I've started doing more research into options that are available for same sex partnerships such as domestic partnerships (so i can do the same). It looks like domestic partnership in California affords most of the same rights as marriage does.. for example: health decisions, health insurance plans, trust/wills, survivor pension benefits, obligation to file taxes as married couple, can take each other's surnames, property rights, parental rights. There are some differences listed in the website, but not incredibly significant...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_partnership_in_California
interestingly, to have a domestic partnership, you have to be same-sex or one partner has to be over 62... meaning.. I, in a opposite sex relationship cannot register for a domestic partnership...
of course I'm still going to do what I can to support equal rights for same sex couples, but it at this point, looking at all the information, doesn't make sense for me to wait to get married, seeing that domestic partnership in california affords almost all the same rights for any average 18+ couple living together... and I don't have any alternative to marraige... of course there is meaning in the terminology (marriage vs domestic partnership) and it is an unfair "seperate but equal" sort of situation, but seeing that domestic partnership covers most rights that marriage does, and it's not even an option for me (unless I realize something about myself that i didn't know!)... i'm going to recind my claim to wait until same-sex marriage...
I'm open to hearing other views on this...
So.. Until recently, I never realized the religious conotations to marriage. I guess I had not really thought about it before and had always seen it as something that had more to do with legally and publicly (among friends/family) binding a relationship. I figured, the only reason that many people got married in churches was because their religion was important to them and they wanted their marriage to be connected to a religious ceremony; never put two and two together that the marriage itself was actually a religious ceremony... (not sure why i didn't see it before)
I had always intended to get married, but not for any religious reasons, it was more for legality and making sure all rights as a married couple and as parents were available; and of course a celebration of love to share with family/friends.
This has increased my confusion as to how we are still allowing religious values to dictate our laws in the United States?? Because it's only a religious reason why gay marriage is not recognized, right?
Anyway, having decided I was going to wait until same-sex marriage is legal to get married myself... I've started doing more research into options that are available for same sex partnerships such as domestic partnerships (so i can do the same). It looks like domestic partnership in California affords most of the same rights as marriage does.. for example: health decisions, health insurance plans, trust/wills, survivor pension benefits, obligation to file taxes as married couple, can take each other's surnames, property rights, parental rights. There are some differences listed in the website, but not incredibly significant...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_partnership_in_California
interestingly, to have a domestic partnership, you have to be same-sex or one partner has to be over 62... meaning.. I, in a opposite sex relationship cannot register for a domestic partnership...
of course I'm still going to do what I can to support equal rights for same sex couples, but it at this point, looking at all the information, doesn't make sense for me to wait to get married, seeing that domestic partnership in california affords almost all the same rights for any average 18+ couple living together... and I don't have any alternative to marraige... of course there is meaning in the terminology (marriage vs domestic partnership) and it is an unfair "seperate but equal" sort of situation, but seeing that domestic partnership covers most rights that marriage does, and it's not even an option for me (unless I realize something about myself that i didn't know!)... i'm going to recind my claim to wait until same-sex marriage...
I'm open to hearing other views on this...
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
Friday, April 02, 2010
getting older
it's not the first time i heard from someone older that they predict that as i get older i'll become more conservative and go back to christianity...
i have to say.. i'm more liberal and athiest than i've ever been...
i have to say.. i'm more liberal and athiest than i've ever been...
Celebrations
an idea just occurred to me.... i think when i have a kid, i'm going to research as many holidays from different cultures/religions and try to have some sort of special dinner on those days and spend time telling them about the celebration/history/culture.. and do that every year on those days...
i'm not religious and i'm not very attached to too many of those sorts of celebrations... though i think it's important to foster family traditions...
my family celebrates christmas and thanksgiving... and i do like to celebrate the new year... I'm going to need to figure out some fun family traditions for the rest of the year....
i'm not religious and i'm not very attached to too many of those sorts of celebrations... though i think it's important to foster family traditions...
my family celebrates christmas and thanksgiving... and i do like to celebrate the new year... I'm going to need to figure out some fun family traditions for the rest of the year....
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Did you know?? re: Animal Suicide...
There are many stories of animal suicide that date back centuries
Whether it's a grieving dog, a depressed horse or even a whale mysteriously beaching itself, there is a long history of animals behaving suicidally, behavior that can help explain human suicide, says newly published research.
The idea that animals could actually be very good models for human suicide started to take root in the 20th century, said Edmund Ramsden, one of the study's authors.
If animals can be deliberately self-destructive, they could also then help us to better understand the same behaviors in humans, argue the study's authors, Ramsden, of the University of Exeter in the U.K. and Duncan Wilson of the University of Manchester.
"You begin to challenge the definition of suicide. The body and mind are so damaged by stress and so it leads to self destruction. It's not necessarily even a choice," he said.
There are many stories of animal suicide dating back centuries.
In 1845, for example, the Illustrated London News reported a "Singular Case of Suicide" involving a "fine, handsome and valuable black dog, of the Newfoundland species." The dog had for days been acting less lively than usual, but then was seen "to throw himself in the water and endeavor to sink by preserving perfect stillness of the legs and feet."
The dog was rescued and tied up. But as soon as he was released he entered the water again and tried to sink himself. This occurred several times until at last the dog appeared to tire and "by dint of keeping his head determinedly under water for a few minutes, succeeded at last in obtaining his object, for when taken out this time he was indeed dead."
Such anecdotes tend to reflect the values of the societies they are from, said Ramsden.
In the 19th century animal suicides were often seen as acts of abuse,
madness, love or loyalty — the same causes then given for human suicides.
In earlier times, such qualities were denied, but animals were still used to help define suicide.
"For (St.) Augustine and (Thomas) Aquinas it goes against natural law and so goes against God's law," Ramsden told Discovery News. They called on the lack of suicide in Nature as proof that people should not kill themselves."...suicide is contrary to the inclination of nature," Aquinas wrote.
But Aquinas couldn't have been more wrong, says psychologist Thomas Joiner of Florida State University and author of the newly-published book "Myths of Suicide."
"It's incredible how actually pervasive it is in nature," said Joiner.
Organisms of all sorts are known to self-destruct in one way or another, usually in order to protect their relatives — and so to save their genes.
"If you take the statement: 'My death will be worth more than my life,' that plays out in all sorts of organisms," said Joiner. "That calculation is the same, whether it's written in the genes or English."
Pea aphids, for instance, when threatened by a lady bug can explode themselves, scattering and protecting their brethren and sometimes even killing the lady bug.
They are literally tiny suicide bombers, Joiner told Discovery News.The big difference is that in modern humans that calculation can go wrong. There are some acts of suicide that do save lives. But most of the millions or so human suicides each year worldwide benefit no one, Joiner explained.
They are acts that perhaps used to serve a purpose in early human
societies, he said, but have lost their function in the modern world.
As a result, some scientists believed that animals could actually be very good models for human suicide, said Ramsden.
This idea started to take root in the 20th century, he said."It becomes reversed, in a sense," said Ramsden. Animal and human suicides are no longer seen as willful acts but as responses to conditions.
What that suicidal Newfoundland was telling us, then, is not so much that animals and humans think alike, but that it is, as Joiner said "...a fatal consequence of biologically-based and extremely serious illness."
Discovery Channel
Wed., March. 10, 2010
Whether it's a grieving dog, a depressed horse or even a whale mysteriously beaching itself, there is a long history of animals behaving suicidally, behavior that can help explain human suicide, says newly published research.
The idea that animals could actually be very good models for human suicide started to take root in the 20th century, said Edmund Ramsden, one of the study's authors.
If animals can be deliberately self-destructive, they could also then help us to better understand the same behaviors in humans, argue the study's authors, Ramsden, of the University of Exeter in the U.K. and Duncan Wilson of the University of Manchester.
"You begin to challenge the definition of suicide. The body and mind are so damaged by stress and so it leads to self destruction. It's not necessarily even a choice," he said.
There are many stories of animal suicide dating back centuries.
In 1845, for example, the Illustrated London News reported a "Singular Case of Suicide" involving a "fine, handsome and valuable black dog, of the Newfoundland species." The dog had for days been acting less lively than usual, but then was seen "to throw himself in the water and endeavor to sink by preserving perfect stillness of the legs and feet."
The dog was rescued and tied up. But as soon as he was released he entered the water again and tried to sink himself. This occurred several times until at last the dog appeared to tire and "by dint of keeping his head determinedly under water for a few minutes, succeeded at last in obtaining his object, for when taken out this time he was indeed dead."
Such anecdotes tend to reflect the values of the societies they are from, said Ramsden.
In the 19th century animal suicides were often seen as acts of abuse,
madness, love or loyalty — the same causes then given for human suicides.
In earlier times, such qualities were denied, but animals were still used to help define suicide.
"For (St.) Augustine and (Thomas) Aquinas it goes against natural law and so goes against God's law," Ramsden told Discovery News. They called on the lack of suicide in Nature as proof that people should not kill themselves."...suicide is contrary to the inclination of nature," Aquinas wrote.
But Aquinas couldn't have been more wrong, says psychologist Thomas Joiner of Florida State University and author of the newly-published book "Myths of Suicide."
"It's incredible how actually pervasive it is in nature," said Joiner.
Organisms of all sorts are known to self-destruct in one way or another, usually in order to protect their relatives — and so to save their genes.
"If you take the statement: 'My death will be worth more than my life,' that plays out in all sorts of organisms," said Joiner. "That calculation is the same, whether it's written in the genes or English."
Pea aphids, for instance, when threatened by a lady bug can explode themselves, scattering and protecting their brethren and sometimes even killing the lady bug.
They are literally tiny suicide bombers, Joiner told Discovery News.The big difference is that in modern humans that calculation can go wrong. There are some acts of suicide that do save lives. But most of the millions or so human suicides each year worldwide benefit no one, Joiner explained.
They are acts that perhaps used to serve a purpose in early human
societies, he said, but have lost their function in the modern world.
As a result, some scientists believed that animals could actually be very good models for human suicide, said Ramsden.
This idea started to take root in the 20th century, he said."It becomes reversed, in a sense," said Ramsden. Animal and human suicides are no longer seen as willful acts but as responses to conditions.
What that suicidal Newfoundland was telling us, then, is not so much that animals and humans think alike, but that it is, as Joiner said "...a fatal consequence of biologically-based and extremely serious illness."
Discovery Channel
Wed., March. 10, 2010
Monday, March 08, 2010
Doing my part..
... well in little bits that is....
So there is this soup i really love from costco, that is so easy to prepare (microwave) and tastes really good... unfortunately, they use a type of shrimp that Ive recently discovered is on the RED list and is not sustainable.
I've emailed the company and told them that i will no longer purchase the product and will discourage family/friends from doing so as well...
...there you go....
So there is this soup i really love from costco, that is so easy to prepare (microwave) and tastes really good... unfortunately, they use a type of shrimp that Ive recently discovered is on the RED list and is not sustainable.
I've emailed the company and told them that i will no longer purchase the product and will discourage family/friends from doing so as well...
...there you go....
Friday, March 05, 2010
LAX Parking research
I used to use Red Rabbit parking which was awesome.. it was something like $5/day and they were super nice and reliable.. but they've been closed since like 2007...
So i've done some more research.. and am blogging it for future reference (and your benefit!)...
First, if you're on the westside, rather than going all the way to LAX, you can have someone local drop you off near UCLA for FlyAway:
http://www.lawa.org/uploadedFiles/LAX/pdf/FlyAway%20PAMPHLET_Jan%202010.pdf
There's free wifi, it's $5 for the ride to and from UCLA/LAX. The schedule is something to pay particular attention to tho.
If you need to park somewhere, you can check out prices here:
http://www.parkrideflyusa.com/
And after looking at a few billion yelp reviews for several different companies, I've decided that this one is good and cheap:
AirPark LAX
9800 La Cienega Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90045
(866) 575-7275
www.airpark-lax.com
ROOFTOP SPECIAL OFFER $5.95 (plus tax) which comes out to $6.50/day
DAILY [covered] PARKING RATE $7.95 (plus tax) which comes out to about $8.70/day
You can book online and not worry about having cash.
4/5 stars on yelp.com
So i've done some more research.. and am blogging it for future reference (and your benefit!)...
First, if you're on the westside, rather than going all the way to LAX, you can have someone local drop you off near UCLA for FlyAway:
http://www.lawa.org/uploadedFiles/LAX/pdf/FlyAway%20PAMPHLET_Jan%202010.pdf
There's free wifi, it's $5 for the ride to and from UCLA/LAX. The schedule is something to pay particular attention to tho.
If you need to park somewhere, you can check out prices here:
http://www.parkrideflyusa.com/
And after looking at a few billion yelp reviews for several different companies, I've decided that this one is good and cheap:
AirPark LAX
9800 La Cienega Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90045
(866) 575-7275
www.airpark-lax.com
ROOFTOP SPECIAL OFFER $5.95 (plus tax) which comes out to $6.50/day
DAILY [covered] PARKING RATE $7.95 (plus tax) which comes out to about $8.70/day
You can book online and not worry about having cash.
4/5 stars on yelp.com
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
endangered sushi/fish!
So, Monterey Bay Aquarium does a great website on endangered fish... so initially i figured that scavenger fish like shrimp were not endangered and not a problem, but apprently it's not just overfishing that's an issue, but the method of fishing. So apparently the fishing practice of shrimp trawling accidentally catches and kills animals like turtles, sharks, etc in the process... also farmed fish (other than not being healthy for you because most often the fish are treated with antibiotics because of the crowded conditions and disease problems... apparently these farms produce alot of polution as well...)
Good news is that as a general rule, the U.S. has strict fishing standards, so if at the very least you find out if the fish is imported or from the states you can feel some added assurance that it may be a little less harmful for the ecosystem.
So I was really excited to see that wild alaskan salmon is on the "best choice"/green list and is OK to eat.. YAY for me cuz i love salmon!
Others that are OK: US shrimp/ebi (avoid imported shrimp), scallops are good, imitation crab is OK, blue/king/snow/dungeness crab is good, albacore tuna from US is good, squid good, uni (california & canada), striped bass, lobster (mexico, US), mahi mahi (us), tilapia (US or centr amer), white seabass, whitefish (lake)
Other things that I"m not particularly interested in, but you may be: Pacific sole is ok (but not sole from other areas), us farmed abalone, us farmed catfish, caviar (us), clams, pacific halibut, farmed mussels, oysters, sardines
tuna/toro (yellowfin, blue fin, & bigeye) and cod had alot of specifics about some to avoid and some that are OK, so you'll wanna check the guide
Avoid: yellowtail, farmed salmon, freshwater eel/unagi, uni (maine), chilean bass, farmed salmon, shark,
Heres the website if you wanna search for specific fish:
http://www.montereybayaquarium.org/cr/seafoodwatch.aspx
Good news is that as a general rule, the U.S. has strict fishing standards, so if at the very least you find out if the fish is imported or from the states you can feel some added assurance that it may be a little less harmful for the ecosystem.
So I was really excited to see that wild alaskan salmon is on the "best choice"/green list and is OK to eat.. YAY for me cuz i love salmon!
Others that are OK: US shrimp/ebi (avoid imported shrimp), scallops are good, imitation crab is OK, blue/king/snow/dungeness crab is good, albacore tuna from US is good, squid good, uni (california & canada), striped bass, lobster (mexico, US), mahi mahi (us), tilapia (US or centr amer), white seabass, whitefish (lake)
Other things that I"m not particularly interested in, but you may be: Pacific sole is ok (but not sole from other areas), us farmed abalone, us farmed catfish, caviar (us), clams, pacific halibut, farmed mussels, oysters, sardines
tuna/toro (yellowfin, blue fin, & bigeye) and cod had alot of specifics about some to avoid and some that are OK, so you'll wanna check the guide
Avoid: yellowtail, farmed salmon, freshwater eel/unagi, uni (maine), chilean bass, farmed salmon, shark,
Heres the website if you wanna search for specific fish:
http://www.montereybayaquarium.org/cr/seafoodwatch.aspx
Monday, March 01, 2010
Assumptions about regret
So, recently i've heard from two people that are under the assumption that I regret having made the decision to quit my job and go traveling. I've only heard this particular 'assumption' from 2 different sources, so I'm hoping that it's actually not something that alot of friends/colleagues are thinking because it is not true...
I can look at it in two ways..
1. why a statement like that bothers me, because who cares what other people think
2. look at it subjectively and understand why they would assume something like that (where that person is coming from)
So #1... this bothered me quite a bit for a couple days... for someone to know me and understand what an experience like this was for me and how incredible and enriching the traveling and volunteering was for me; that i would even have the thoughts that this was not worth trouble and that if given another chance i'd decide not to do the same thing. ... This bothers me because i feel a statement like this is belittling of these amazing experiences i've had and I would hope these two people would know me better than that and would know that was not true... There were/are definitely challenges (some unexpected) to what i did.. and i dont deny that at all. It was difficult to come back in the economy as it is and no doubt it's been a challenge to find a permanent position in what i want to do (mental health social work)... but that's all part of making a decision like that... there was alot of thought and planning that went into this and there isn't any other way I would have gone about it and am very happy and content with where my life is right now. Where I sit, I have alot of options, just a different set of options than what would be ideal for maybe someone else. For example.. i can decide to travel again (and since i'm on contract, i can do that and not feel obligated to the position).. since i'm still in the job market, i've even turned down several job interviews/offers because it's not quite what i want to do (and i'm in a place in my life where i can still do that) i'm not in a hurry to fulfill this idea of what "success" is for other people's.. i actually feel like i've accomplished quite a bit in my life already (and living in another country is on that list). If i felt like traveling for another year without working (or just doing volunteer work) I can still do that because of what i have done previously (and money is not a major concern)... so i dont regret anything i've done in my life because i'm where i am because of it and great opportunities have been opened up for because i've been open to looking them...
So #2... so, really it's all about perspective.. so i've explained above why in my perspective and my experience i dont regret having made these decisions in my life... but rather than getting angry at other people for thinking this of me and personalizing it, i can try and understand why they are thinking this and what their perspective of the situation is.
i'm assuming (and of course all of this stemmed out of assumptions of me, so i do this lightly as I dont know exactly and don't want to make the same mistakes) their general sense of "success" (particularly with the two folks who had the 'regret' assumption of me) is having a stable job with job security, paying into retirement, good salary/benefits, marriage/family, buying a house, etc etc etc... so I can understand that for someone who holds this value, that choosing to lose this aspect (or not pursue it at this time) can seem rash, unreasonable, irresponsible... being on this road myself when i was younger has kept me from making decisions to travel in my earlier years, so i can understand the fear and concerns when you have "success" (or are on the road to it and it's clear ahead) and don't want to lose it... so i can understand this can provoke feelings of anxiety & regret.. if this was all that was important to you. particularly if you have not had the fortune of traveling or knowing the enrichment that traveling provides, you may have a limited capacity to incorporate the benefits of it and see it as a means to 'success' or that it in itself is something that should be a life goal... Also, it is easy to project our own feelings onto other people, particularly if the feelings are strong within ourselves... if someone were to see my situation and think to themself that they would have regretted these decisions, than that's their issue that says something about them and not me
Another, less attractive way to view it is some level of jealousy.. if that person does have the capacity to see the benefits of traveling and volunteering and maybe feels a wish to do this themselves but doesn't feel they are up for the challenge that it would bring and therefore is deciding not to despite strong feelings of wanting to, may resort to feeling jealous and deciding to tell people that they think i regret these decisions in order to belittle the whole experience when talking to others...
EDIT/Additional note: I forgot to note, but i think i've said it before in a past post that quite the opposite of regretting the decision, this is one of the best decisions i've made in my life.
I can look at it in two ways..
1. why a statement like that bothers me, because who cares what other people think
2. look at it subjectively and understand why they would assume something like that (where that person is coming from)
So #1... this bothered me quite a bit for a couple days... for someone to know me and understand what an experience like this was for me and how incredible and enriching the traveling and volunteering was for me; that i would even have the thoughts that this was not worth trouble and that if given another chance i'd decide not to do the same thing. ... This bothers me because i feel a statement like this is belittling of these amazing experiences i've had and I would hope these two people would know me better than that and would know that was not true... There were/are definitely challenges (some unexpected) to what i did.. and i dont deny that at all. It was difficult to come back in the economy as it is and no doubt it's been a challenge to find a permanent position in what i want to do (mental health social work)... but that's all part of making a decision like that... there was alot of thought and planning that went into this and there isn't any other way I would have gone about it and am very happy and content with where my life is right now. Where I sit, I have alot of options, just a different set of options than what would be ideal for maybe someone else. For example.. i can decide to travel again (and since i'm on contract, i can do that and not feel obligated to the position).. since i'm still in the job market, i've even turned down several job interviews/offers because it's not quite what i want to do (and i'm in a place in my life where i can still do that) i'm not in a hurry to fulfill this idea of what "success" is for other people's.. i actually feel like i've accomplished quite a bit in my life already (and living in another country is on that list). If i felt like traveling for another year without working (or just doing volunteer work) I can still do that because of what i have done previously (and money is not a major concern)... so i dont regret anything i've done in my life because i'm where i am because of it and great opportunities have been opened up for because i've been open to looking them...
So #2... so, really it's all about perspective.. so i've explained above why in my perspective and my experience i dont regret having made these decisions in my life... but rather than getting angry at other people for thinking this of me and personalizing it, i can try and understand why they are thinking this and what their perspective of the situation is.
i'm assuming (and of course all of this stemmed out of assumptions of me, so i do this lightly as I dont know exactly and don't want to make the same mistakes) their general sense of "success" (particularly with the two folks who had the 'regret' assumption of me) is having a stable job with job security, paying into retirement, good salary/benefits, marriage/family, buying a house, etc etc etc... so I can understand that for someone who holds this value, that choosing to lose this aspect (or not pursue it at this time) can seem rash, unreasonable, irresponsible... being on this road myself when i was younger has kept me from making decisions to travel in my earlier years, so i can understand the fear and concerns when you have "success" (or are on the road to it and it's clear ahead) and don't want to lose it... so i can understand this can provoke feelings of anxiety & regret.. if this was all that was important to you. particularly if you have not had the fortune of traveling or knowing the enrichment that traveling provides, you may have a limited capacity to incorporate the benefits of it and see it as a means to 'success' or that it in itself is something that should be a life goal... Also, it is easy to project our own feelings onto other people, particularly if the feelings are strong within ourselves... if someone were to see my situation and think to themself that they would have regretted these decisions, than that's their issue that says something about them and not me
Another, less attractive way to view it is some level of jealousy.. if that person does have the capacity to see the benefits of traveling and volunteering and maybe feels a wish to do this themselves but doesn't feel they are up for the challenge that it would bring and therefore is deciding not to despite strong feelings of wanting to, may resort to feeling jealous and deciding to tell people that they think i regret these decisions in order to belittle the whole experience when talking to others...
EDIT/Additional note: I forgot to note, but i think i've said it before in a past post that quite the opposite of regretting the decision, this is one of the best decisions i've made in my life.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Liz Visits!
So my dear friend Liz, whom I met in Peru (she's the director of the program I volunteered for) came to visit the last week of December through New Years!
She's originally from England and had not spent time in Los Angeles, so we did some touristy stuff and some non touristy stuff.
Sorry, I dont have many interesting stories, because i'm feeling exhausted today :P Though I'll have pictures up and this was mainly just to journal what we did.. i've already forgotten some details... oops.
Dec 29 Tues.. Hollywood walk (the stars and hand/foot prints in front of Mann Theatre), ate at Pure Luck Restaurant in Hollywood (a vegan restaurant highly recommended)
Dec 30 W.. Disneyland in the rain!.. Left for Moontribe (dance party/gathering in the desert under the full moon)
Dec 31 Th.. Moontriiiibe
Jan 1 F... Return from Moontribe... I think we went to a taco shop (Sky Taco.. amazing, but expensive, tacos)
Jan 2 Sa... Venice beach..
Jan 3 Su... La Brea Tar Pits and then dinner with another 2 previous S.K.I.P. and peace corp volunteers at Hama Sushi in Venice... then LAX to go back to Peru.
We spent quite a bit of time out in the Mojave desert over new years, but it was very much a highlight of the visit. Disneyland was alright; it was somewhat sprinkling, so that cut the crowd to about 1/3, which was still quite crowded.. still 20-70 minute lines... we were able to go on matterhorn, space mountain, pirates of the carribean, thunder mountain, and i think one other... Liz really enjoyed the tar pits as well..
She's originally from England and had not spent time in Los Angeles, so we did some touristy stuff and some non touristy stuff.
Sorry, I dont have many interesting stories, because i'm feeling exhausted today :P Though I'll have pictures up and this was mainly just to journal what we did.. i've already forgotten some details... oops.
Dec 29 Tues.. Hollywood walk (the stars and hand/foot prints in front of Mann Theatre), ate at Pure Luck Restaurant in Hollywood (a vegan restaurant highly recommended)
Dec 30 W.. Disneyland in the rain!.. Left for Moontribe (dance party/gathering in the desert under the full moon)
Dec 31 Th.. Moontriiiibe
Jan 1 F... Return from Moontribe... I think we went to a taco shop (Sky Taco.. amazing, but expensive, tacos)
Jan 2 Sa... Venice beach..
Jan 3 Su... La Brea Tar Pits and then dinner with another 2 previous S.K.I.P. and peace corp volunteers at Hama Sushi in Venice... then LAX to go back to Peru.
We spent quite a bit of time out in the Mojave desert over new years, but it was very much a highlight of the visit. Disneyland was alright; it was somewhat sprinkling, so that cut the crowd to about 1/3, which was still quite crowded.. still 20-70 minute lines... we were able to go on matterhorn, space mountain, pirates of the carribean, thunder mountain, and i think one other... Liz really enjoyed the tar pits as well..
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Lunch
I'm sooo lazy when it comes to cooking.
I'm sooo lazy when it comes to waking up in the morning.
These two things make it very hard for me to figure out a good lunch to bring to work.
So I found this website, which has great ideas and links to other great ideas :)
http://cheaphealthygood.blogspot.com/2008/05/brown-bag-brigade-your-one-stop-shop.html
For now, I bring 2 slices bread, slice cheese, sliced tomato, orange, banana, and yogurt. I usually eat the orange and yogurt after work as a snack to get me through exercising till dinner. :) I'm guessing that'll get boring soon.
Any other ideas???
I'm sooo lazy when it comes to waking up in the morning.
These two things make it very hard for me to figure out a good lunch to bring to work.
So I found this website, which has great ideas and links to other great ideas :)
http://cheaphealthygood.blogspot.com/2008/05/brown-bag-brigade-your-one-stop-shop.html
For now, I bring 2 slices bread, slice cheese, sliced tomato, orange, banana, and yogurt. I usually eat the orange and yogurt after work as a snack to get me through exercising till dinner. :) I'm guessing that'll get boring soon.
Any other ideas???
Karma
I don't believe in Karma.
... at least not in the sense of the word that is often used in Western society. That direct cause and effect that if you do something evil/bad that something bad will happen to you... or that if you do good in the world, your life will be good. In addition, I find that this sort of thinking is very individualistic and can lead to selfish thinking because basically the motive behind doing something good is carried with personal gain rather than wanting to benefit the collective, regardless of what will happen to you...
That's not to say that i dont believe in positivity spreading positivity (and negativity spreading negativity). Though I believe this on a grander scale. It is possible that the good deeds you do will eventually come back, but in my beliefs you may never see it in your lifetime because acts of kindness (or other types of energies) create a ripple effect that sort of flows along a continuum and get dispersed among everything living...
I feel it could do more for the world to think more collectively and decide to do good things because it would benefit every living thing on a whole without wondering how it will benefit ourself individually...
On another note, i dont believe in jinxes, needing to knock on wood for anything, nor do i feel we need to say "bless you" when someone sneezes... however sometimes i'll say 'bless you' as a form of courtesy/politeness since other people seem to think it's rude if it's not said.
Jinxes & knocking on wood: I dont believe that just the act of saying something about what you want or don't want to happen will affect the likelyhood of it happening.
Bless you: I dont think that people are being invaded by evil spirits when they sneeze and need to be blessed by me (of all people) in order to rid of this. I dont believe that saying bless you would even remotely save you from getting the black plague if that was a current risk.
... at least not in the sense of the word that is often used in Western society. That direct cause and effect that if you do something evil/bad that something bad will happen to you... or that if you do good in the world, your life will be good. In addition, I find that this sort of thinking is very individualistic and can lead to selfish thinking because basically the motive behind doing something good is carried with personal gain rather than wanting to benefit the collective, regardless of what will happen to you...
That's not to say that i dont believe in positivity spreading positivity (and negativity spreading negativity). Though I believe this on a grander scale. It is possible that the good deeds you do will eventually come back, but in my beliefs you may never see it in your lifetime because acts of kindness (or other types of energies) create a ripple effect that sort of flows along a continuum and get dispersed among everything living...
I feel it could do more for the world to think more collectively and decide to do good things because it would benefit every living thing on a whole without wondering how it will benefit ourself individually...
On another note, i dont believe in jinxes, needing to knock on wood for anything, nor do i feel we need to say "bless you" when someone sneezes... however sometimes i'll say 'bless you' as a form of courtesy/politeness since other people seem to think it's rude if it's not said.
Jinxes & knocking on wood: I dont believe that just the act of saying something about what you want or don't want to happen will affect the likelyhood of it happening.
Bless you: I dont think that people are being invaded by evil spirits when they sneeze and need to be blessed by me (of all people) in order to rid of this. I dont believe that saying bless you would even remotely save you from getting the black plague if that was a current risk.
Friday, February 05, 2010
Hair donation
So, I was inspired by my friend, Cassanna, who is growing her hair to donate to be made into a wig for children who need it and I started doing some research and there seems to be quite a few charities out there that do the hair donation..
After several hours of researching, I've decided I want to donate to this one: http://www.childrenwithhairloss.us/
I found that some of the organizations donate only to alopecia and/or cancer, which are the major causes of hair loss in children, but the Children With Hairloss gives wigs also for burn victims and other medical causes...
It seems to have a good reputation too, http://www.scam.com/showthread.php?t=7092 and it looks like alot of people have reported having received their hair pieces for their kids from this org very easily and fast (with Locks of Love having a reputation of a long waitlist).. which is understandable from what i've been reading with Locks of Love, they've gotten so much publicity, they're getting bombarded with tons of donations and apparently don't have alot of staff so wait lists are long...
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/06/fashion/06locks.html?_r=1&oref=slogin
http://badhairday.typepad.com/bad_hair_day/2006/07/locks_of_love_i.html
http://msgboard.snopes.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=21;t=001082;p=0
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Locks_of_Love
it's understandable that not all the hair donated will be usable for wigs, but it seems that Locks of Love are not using all the usable hair either cuz they get too many donations.. it seems like they get too many donations and are selling the hair for cash instead, which isn't necessarily bad because they are funding research and such, but then the original intention of making wigs to donate for kids is not being focused on... so it's not like they're a total scam or anything, i think they're just getting too big... and it seems alot of their money is going towards public relations and promotion....
There's some other organizations:
http://www.pantene.com/en-US/beautiful_lengths.jspx ---Hillary Swank donated to them and did this whole campaign thing... i didn't find any controversial info about them
http://www.wigsforkids.org/ -- seems to be a good org.. i didn't see any controversial info about them...
http://www.clf4kids.org/donate_hair.html
After several hours of researching, I've decided I want to donate to this one: http://www.childrenwithhairloss.us/
I found that some of the organizations donate only to alopecia and/or cancer, which are the major causes of hair loss in children, but the Children With Hairloss gives wigs also for burn victims and other medical causes...
It seems to have a good reputation too, http://www.scam.com/showthread.php?t=7092 and it looks like alot of people have reported having received their hair pieces for their kids from this org very easily and fast (with Locks of Love having a reputation of a long waitlist).. which is understandable from what i've been reading with Locks of Love, they've gotten so much publicity, they're getting bombarded with tons of donations and apparently don't have alot of staff so wait lists are long...
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/06/fashion/06locks.html?_r=1&oref=slogin
http://badhairday.typepad.com/bad_hair_day/2006/07/locks_of_love_i.html
http://msgboard.snopes.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=21;t=001082;p=0
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Locks_of_Love
it's understandable that not all the hair donated will be usable for wigs, but it seems that Locks of Love are not using all the usable hair either cuz they get too many donations.. it seems like they get too many donations and are selling the hair for cash instead, which isn't necessarily bad because they are funding research and such, but then the original intention of making wigs to donate for kids is not being focused on... so it's not like they're a total scam or anything, i think they're just getting too big... and it seems alot of their money is going towards public relations and promotion....
There's some other organizations:
http://www.pantene.com/en-US/beautiful_lengths.jspx ---Hillary Swank donated to them and did this whole campaign thing... i didn't find any controversial info about them
http://www.wigsforkids.org/ -- seems to be a good org.. i didn't see any controversial info about them...
http://www.clf4kids.org/donate_hair.html
Zion
Hope to put some pictures and stories up about Brentt and my trip to Zion National Park, UT. I would say it was the 2nd most beautiful place i've ever been to (1st being the amazon jungle)... so i've gotta post some pictures...
soon to come
soon to come
Cat!
So, I've had pet cats for the past 10 years of my life and during a few years in high school. I had to find homes for my 2 cats when I left for Peru, and was planning to take them back when I returned... but it looks like my allergies are so severe that I can't have them back. I went to go visit my ex's cats and my right eye was nearly swollen shut and i had large thick hives on my arms. I'm starting to get used to the dogs and cats of friends, but it's uncomfortable and I usually end up taking allergy pills (which i'm just not keen on popping pills all the time)... and considering the food allergies i already have, its just every taxing physically to deal with the allergic reactions of both animals and food....
tho i still love cats and miss having a pet to play with!
Generally cats that are hairless have less hair for their saliva to stick on to, and it's the saliva that i'm allergic to. So, i did some research on a variety of cats that tend to provoke less allergic reactions... Sphynx, Devon Rex, and Cornish Rex... and Siberian cats have hair but less of the allergen in their saliva...
So, when brentt and i move back in together, i'm in search of a rescue cat of one of these breeds :) if you have any leads let me know :)
(oh and apparently there are genetically engineered cats that are 100% allergy free, but not only is this super expensive, and promoting the breeding industry instead of rescuing cats.. but it also seems a bit on the strange side)
tho i still love cats and miss having a pet to play with!
Generally cats that are hairless have less hair for their saliva to stick on to, and it's the saliva that i'm allergic to. So, i did some research on a variety of cats that tend to provoke less allergic reactions... Sphynx, Devon Rex, and Cornish Rex... and Siberian cats have hair but less of the allergen in their saliva...
So, when brentt and i move back in together, i'm in search of a rescue cat of one of these breeds :) if you have any leads let me know :)
(oh and apparently there are genetically engineered cats that are 100% allergy free, but not only is this super expensive, and promoting the breeding industry instead of rescuing cats.. but it also seems a bit on the strange side)
Life decisions: Future travel
Originally I had planned to go out for 1.5-2 years of traveling with a brief 2-3 months of stay in the states. Part 1 was to be Peru and then Part 2 was the rest of south america and central america.. well as you can see things have changed a bit...
So I did go on part 1. Spent an amazing time in Peru . When I came back, I decided that instead of leaving right after the summer, I wanted to stay through the holidays since I missed the holidays last year and didn't feel like missing another year.
Then as i'm doing my job search and realizing it is much harder than what I originally planned (tho, this was probably the worst time for me to come back, and I really should have just taken off again instead of tackling the job market and finding a permanent job). So, being in a bit of panic to find a job and wanting to keep it (and not quitting again so i dont have to go through this again next year).. I'm thinking that once I get a permanent job, I will likely not quit and do my overseas travels within the paid vacation time that I have accrued. So, I still want to travel and see many other worlds, but it just wont be in the extended amount of time i originally planned for....
However, what i've been thinking in the past week... is that if i'm still in a contract position (meaning not permanent) in a few months and if I dont get this one job that I really want and applied for... I may consider just going back out again.... maybe apply for doctors without borders and see if i get in this time (last time I didn't get the job because I didn't have enough experience working in a developing country)... maybe travel without doing volunteer work.. who knows...
So I did go on part 1. Spent an amazing time in Peru . When I came back, I decided that instead of leaving right after the summer, I wanted to stay through the holidays since I missed the holidays last year and didn't feel like missing another year.
Then as i'm doing my job search and realizing it is much harder than what I originally planned (tho, this was probably the worst time for me to come back, and I really should have just taken off again instead of tackling the job market and finding a permanent job). So, being in a bit of panic to find a job and wanting to keep it (and not quitting again so i dont have to go through this again next year).. I'm thinking that once I get a permanent job, I will likely not quit and do my overseas travels within the paid vacation time that I have accrued. So, I still want to travel and see many other worlds, but it just wont be in the extended amount of time i originally planned for....
However, what i've been thinking in the past week... is that if i'm still in a contract position (meaning not permanent) in a few months and if I dont get this one job that I really want and applied for... I may consider just going back out again.... maybe apply for doctors without borders and see if i get in this time (last time I didn't get the job because I didn't have enough experience working in a developing country)... maybe travel without doing volunteer work.. who knows...
Life decisions: Marriage
I've made a decision to wait to get married when same-sex marriage is legal. Not much to explain here other than everyone deserving equal rights.
Superiority is a huge peeve of mine. I dont see how anyone can think that they deserve anything more than anyone else. And this spills into alot of different areas... immigration, education, health insurance, etc etc.. I hate this whole protestant work value where people think that you just need to work hard and you can get what you need... That's incredibly ignorant and narrow minded... Of course hard work is important, but I think luck has alot more to do with it. Lucky enough to be born in the united states.. lucky to be born a privledged color.. lucky to be born in a certain socioeconomic class.. having positive role models...adequate nutrition growing up.. having safety.. access to good education .. lucky to have resources others dont have access to... those things have nothing to do with how hard you work or that you deserved those luxuries over other people...
Superiority is a huge peeve of mine. I dont see how anyone can think that they deserve anything more than anyone else. And this spills into alot of different areas... immigration, education, health insurance, etc etc.. I hate this whole protestant work value where people think that you just need to work hard and you can get what you need... That's incredibly ignorant and narrow minded... Of course hard work is important, but I think luck has alot more to do with it. Lucky enough to be born in the united states.. lucky to be born a privledged color.. lucky to be born in a certain socioeconomic class.. having positive role models...adequate nutrition growing up.. having safety.. access to good education .. lucky to have resources others dont have access to... those things have nothing to do with how hard you work or that you deserved those luxuries over other people...
Life decisions: Children
So, I'm not exactly sure what prompted me to start thinking of major life issues like marriage and such... i think maybe being unemployed gave me alot of time on my hands to just think... and then when i don't exercise I tend to have all this unused energy, so I get ideas and start doing intense research on them... which can be good or bad sometimes hehe.. :)
(bad, only in the sense that i can waste alot of time on the internet!)
So, I've given alot of thought to children. I've always seen myself as a mother, have always really loved babies and wanted to work with kids.. i always saw myself as having 2 kids by age 27.. .. but now at 30.. alot has happened in my life... experiences that have changed my perspective, ethics, and future outlook... With everything going on in the world, particularly with global warming, i dont feel it's really a good time to be bringing someone into the world because I feel that quite a bit of hardship seems to be a possibility within their lifetime...
in a general sense, i feel like having a kid is a selfish thing to do, selfish in the sense that obviously the baby is not being asked to be born so the decision is 100% the parents... so making a decision to bring a baby into the world, knowing things are going downhill environmentally (among other world issues)... is starting to go against some changing ethics I’m having on this issue….
Also (a bit of a tangent), it really peeves me when people complain about their kids and say something like "I carried him in my womb for 9 months and had 2 days of intense labor and this is the thanks i get" or other such child caregiving complaints.. but it's like.. ummm they did not ask to be born, this entirely your decision and your obligation.. not that we should give our kids the royal treatment and they should definitely treat parents with respect, but babies don't necessarily owe parents for just being born and taken care of during childhood and to make the decision to have a kid should not be taken lightly and people should take full responsibility for every part it…
Also, I feel like there are so many children who are in the foster/adoption system who are in need of parents and rather than populating the world with more kids, why not adopt one that is already here and in need.
That all being said… I still have my own biological urges to have my own child. There is also something to be said about having a child that was born of the love between two people and a beautiful thing to see your own child that is a mix between you and your significant other.. and as my mother recently reminded me that there are wonderful experiences to be had in life and it’s not all about greenhouse effects and negative politics..
So I’ve come to a compromise that I feel sits well with my own ethics and wishes both ways… I would like to have one biological child (if I still can when I plan to) and adopt one child. I did quite a bit of research on the process of adoption and I’m thinking I might go the foster route with the intent of adoption. I have a friend who was a foster care social worker for 5 years and having been involved in the process she also plans to go that route. I’m thinking that around the time I have my own baby, I’ll adopt a toddler, maybe 2 or 3 y/o.. they’ll be companions growing up and the adopted child will already feel like part of the family having a new sister/brother.
(bad, only in the sense that i can waste alot of time on the internet!)
So, I've given alot of thought to children. I've always seen myself as a mother, have always really loved babies and wanted to work with kids.. i always saw myself as having 2 kids by age 27.. .. but now at 30.. alot has happened in my life... experiences that have changed my perspective, ethics, and future outlook... With everything going on in the world, particularly with global warming, i dont feel it's really a good time to be bringing someone into the world because I feel that quite a bit of hardship seems to be a possibility within their lifetime...
in a general sense, i feel like having a kid is a selfish thing to do, selfish in the sense that obviously the baby is not being asked to be born so the decision is 100% the parents... so making a decision to bring a baby into the world, knowing things are going downhill environmentally (among other world issues)... is starting to go against some changing ethics I’m having on this issue….
Also (a bit of a tangent), it really peeves me when people complain about their kids and say something like "I carried him in my womb for 9 months and had 2 days of intense labor and this is the thanks i get" or other such child caregiving complaints.. but it's like.. ummm they did not ask to be born, this entirely your decision and your obligation.. not that we should give our kids the royal treatment and they should definitely treat parents with respect, but babies don't necessarily owe parents for just being born and taken care of during childhood and to make the decision to have a kid should not be taken lightly and people should take full responsibility for every part it…
Also, I feel like there are so many children who are in the foster/adoption system who are in need of parents and rather than populating the world with more kids, why not adopt one that is already here and in need.
That all being said… I still have my own biological urges to have my own child. There is also something to be said about having a child that was born of the love between two people and a beautiful thing to see your own child that is a mix between you and your significant other.. and as my mother recently reminded me that there are wonderful experiences to be had in life and it’s not all about greenhouse effects and negative politics..
So I’ve come to a compromise that I feel sits well with my own ethics and wishes both ways… I would like to have one biological child (if I still can when I plan to) and adopt one child. I did quite a bit of research on the process of adoption and I’m thinking I might go the foster route with the intent of adoption. I have a friend who was a foster care social worker for 5 years and having been involved in the process she also plans to go that route. I’m thinking that around the time I have my own baby, I’ll adopt a toddler, maybe 2 or 3 y/o.. they’ll be companions growing up and the adopted child will already feel like part of the family having a new sister/brother.
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